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Saturday, December 4, 2021

Why dating a single mom is hard

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First and foremost, no one sets out to be a single mother. “I want to get married, have kids, then divorce my husband and raise my kids on my own,” No one says anything like this.

Life, however, is unpredictable. The husband may die, or the husband may be aggressive and violent, leaving the mother with little alternative but to flee with her children. Other times, the marriage does not work out and both parties separate. In many other circumstances, the dad simply disappears and abandons his family due to his irresponsibility.

Whatever the case may be, there are many beautiful single mothers in the world. However, being romantically involved with them can be tough at times. Here are some of the reasons:

1. Conflict between you and the kids

Sometimes, the kids can be very territorial and overprotective, and this is normal. No one would feel comfortable with a stranger gallivanting round the house and giving their mom kisses. It’s a disturbing sight for many. However, over time, you might be lucky – the kids could eventually adjust and warm up to you.

It’s also very possible that you don’t get lucky. No matter what you do, the kids might just never welcome you into their lives… So keep this in mind.

2. Zero quality time

One of the criteria for a successful relationship is spending time with each other. However, with single moms, this could prove difficult and that’s because single moms don’t have time to hang out. They just don’t have that time.

From the moment they open their eyes in the morning, there’s a pile of work waiting for them. They’d get the kids ready for school, cook for them, drop them off at school and then go to work.

They close from work, head to school to pick up the kids, take them home, bathe them, cook for them, play with them, check their homeworks… Where’s the time to hang out? They hardly even have time to pick calls or chat with you.

Hence, you’ll need to find a way around this time constraint.

3. Stigmatization

Finally, there’d always be that public perception of both of you. People would see you as crazy and they’d see her as loose. But to be candid with you, that’s their business.

Stigmatization is the easiest obstacle to deal with, all you have to do is not give a damn about what they say. It’s their business to gossip, it’s your business to love whoever you want.

In conclusion, every relationship has its own obstacles. Prepare for them and you’d have a smoother ride.

Funmi is a Writer, Thinker and Marketing buff. Like Mark Manson, he hopes to give life advice that doesn’t suck.

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