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Saturday, November 27, 2021

‘My husband proposed to his ex with the same ring he gave to me – I’m shocked’

File photo: Wedding

We all know the ring isn’t the most important part of a marriage proposal and as such many people would be perfectly happy with a ring pop or Haribo ring if it meant they got to marry the love of their life.

But if you’re given one it’s still a very nice gesture and the piece of jewellery can become incredibly sentimental for you and your family.

One woman was lucky enough to be given a fancy engagement ring when her partner got down on one knee and she’s always liked it – until she recently discovered the truth about where it came from.

As reported by the Liverpool Echo, the anonymous wife took to Mumsnet to share her outrage after discovering her husband had given her the same ring he once used to propose to his ex.

To make matters worse, he’d spent years lying about it, insisting it wasn’t the same ring.

She wrote: “Am I being ridiculous? Actually really upset.

“Married my husband a couple of years ago and pretty quickly got pregnant and had a child. I had my suspicions at the time that the ring he proposed with was the one he gave his ex (and mother of my step-children) which he was given back when they split up years before, they never actually went on to marry, but couldn’t quite put my finger on why I thought it.

“I knew he had the ring still when we first met as he found it when we were getting rid of a lot of stuff when moving in together. This was about seven years ago now! The ring sort of disappeared and he said he’d just gotten rid of it.

“At the time when he proposed I did wonder, but as I never saw that ring again couldn’t really remember exactly what it looked like so couldn’t say 100%. On the once or twice it had come up he’d just skirted over what he’d done with it and the box the ring he proposed with was in looked a bit worn.

“I asked him outright a few months later and he said absolutely not, he got mine from X shop in a town near us and went specifically with a friend to choose it etc etc.”

The woman goes on to say that it’s recently come to light that the ring he proposed with is the exact same one he once gave to his ex.

She admits: “I’m actually really p****d off. Not because I’m a***d about having a fancy ring, I’d have been happy with anything. But I’m upset that he lied and I am upset that it’s the ring he gave another woman too.

“I’m embarrassed as well in a way, this is the mother of his kids, who hasn’t been the kindest to me, god knows if she has spotted it but if so it makes me cringe. It’s the kind of thing she’d take pleasure in knowing that I don’t realise.

“I’m actually really really annoyed. Is it petty? Am I right to be? Does it matter? I know the lying matters but I’m also p****d off that it’s the same ring, would that part bother you as well?”

More than 200 people replied to the post, with many agreeing they would be upset as well.

One person said: “I would be hurt too, from the lie and the gesture.”

Another wrote: “It would really bother me too. I don’t think you’re being unreasonable.”

A third commented: “I would be p****d off. He could have sold it off and bought you a new one or have this one altered but definitely, recycling a ring is a big no and I am not a big jewellery person, in fact, my ring was about 500 quid or something. But it was new.”

Someone else posted: “I’d feel the same. He sounds lazy and thoughtless at best. Go to the jewellers and get it swapped for something you want, add in some money and get it upgraded.”

While a different user added: “You’re right to be really p****d off. He openly lied about something as important as your engagement. That’s messed up. I’d question his overall integrity and the relationship.”

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